Is Ryan Gosling a pussy?

Or does he just play one in the notebook?

Now I know what you’re thinking “What the fuck are you talking about! You stupid bitch! Ryan Gosling was the best part of that goddamn movie – ugh!” and I completely agree. But seriously ladies does Noah exist in real life?? Um NO! It’s called a movie, but it’s always nice to dream. Besides any man that would put up with that much shit form woman is either gay or imaginary. I’ve watched the notebook about 5 times now and every time I watch it I want to smack the shit out of that bitch Allie and tell her to grow the fuck up! And then I want to give her a big ass hug and cry my eyes out and tell her how lucky she is. Not only does she have Noah but she also has “what’s his face” who is also willing to eat fresh shit out of her ass!! Then from out of nowhere the rage comes back and I want to key the word cunt onto the hood of her car in GINORMOUS LETTERS!

The debate about Noah could go on for hour’s even days but what I really want to know is…

If you watch The Notebook and you cry does that make you a pussy?

If you watch The Notebook and you don’t cry does that make you a hard ass bitch?

Two weeks ago I was rappin with one of my besties and somehow The Notebook came up. My bestie had mentioned that she had never seen it. WHAT!!!! I replied “you’ve never seen The fuckin Notebook!!” Holy shit I thought that was like a requirement/right of passage into womanhood, like your period and shit! Now I’m not trying to make it seem like The NB is the BEST love story of all time, hell I didn’t even pay to go see it in the theaters. But it’s good enough to make me cry my ass off and give a BJ to the first random dude that looks my way.

The last time I watched The Notebook was about two years ago with my posse from the 207. During the movie my GF and I were trying to conceal the fact that we were sobbing our asses off while our other GF was sitting there with her arms crossed like a bad ass bitch. My bad ass GF didn’t even shed a single tear. She then shot us a look that said “Are you bitches fuckin kidding me, you wouldn’t even make it one day in prison.” After the movie my sobbing GF and I had a ton of questions for our Bad ass GF like:

Why didn’t you cry?

Are you a Dyke (Butch)? (Not that we discriminate)

You don’t want to suck Noah off?

And the answers that we got were:

I’m just a HARD ASS BITCH and I cry for no man!! (Dayum)

No

And of course I'd suck his dick!

And that was that.

So I finally rented The NB for my bestie and I to watch. I pre-warned her to drink a gallon of water because she was going to be dehydrated as shit when the movie was over. Bitch had no idea that she was about to resemble that chick from the R. Kelly video (Drip, drip, drip). My bestie proceeded to tell me about how much she hates love stories, she thinks that they are cheesy and that there was no way in HELL she would cry!

Needless to say after watching The NB my bestie was shedding tears like she had just started her period while wearing white pants on a first date! I turned towards my bestie with red eyes and tissues shoved up each one of my nostrils and once again muttered the question “Does this mean that were pussies??”

I’ve come to the conclusion that I myself am just in touch with my inner pussy (aka EMO side) and that I will always cry when I watch The Notebook. I admit it I’m a pussy, I’m shaved and I’m proud!

Also I’ve discovered that every circle of friends needs a HARD ASS BITCH in their gang. Because when things are shitty and times are tough she’ll be the glue that holds the posse together much like the wife of a dysfunctional marriage.

FYI – Warning to all chicks that live in downtown H.B. the Blockbuster at Sea Cliff doesn’t have a single copy of The NB??? Apparently all of the originals got jacked and the store never received any replacements (and people say The NB blows!)