DO I LOOK LIKE A SLUT?

After writing the OG stalking entry I decided to do a spin off regarding home base aka SEX. How does the playing field that we use as adults vary from the playing field of our adolescence? Well I think it depends on the person. I for one will be the first to admit that I’m a little sluttier then most of my friends, I’m not the sluttiest one but I’m up there on the list. And in my own opinion I don't think that I’m slutty at all, I would say that I’m in touch with my sexuality. OK I’m a whore so what... I like to get laid, I'm STD free and I swallow! (OMG I can hear the gasps!) So with that being said I call bullshit on the aged old myth: If a man sleeps with numerous women he’s consider a pimp but if a woman sleeps around she’s considered a slut! HELLO men love sluts!! Sure men will be the last ones to admit it but without slutty women men all across the world wouldn’t be getting laid. Men love sluttly girls for three reasons:

1. They know that if they take you home they will get laid.
2. Since you’re kind of slutty they know that you are experienced so the sex will be pretty good.
3. Because condoms now a days generally work wonders from protecting against STD’s.

Let’s say that I’m a single guy at a bar looking to get laid and at the end of the night I’ve got two bitches to choose from: Sister Sara or Blow Job Betty. I’m going home with BJB because I know that she’s got enough liquid courage in her to throw her hand down my pants on the cab ride home. With BJB the deals already been sealed (aka less convincing on the mans end) with SS I would have to work for it. And frankly unless you’re a super model like Heidi Klum a man generally wants to put forth the least bit effort as possible when it comes to getting laid. Which brings me to another myth that I call bullshit on: A man will fuck a slut any day of the week but he would never marry one! WHAT, why the fuck not!! I think that a healthy marriage is built on a healthy sexual relationship or at least 60% of it. Without great sex both husband and wife are going to stray to find better sex which will eventually lead to the demise their marriage anyways. So why not marry a slut to begin with? I love it when a man says I could never bring her home to meet my mom. Why not does your new slutty girlfriend have her entire fuck list tattooed on her forehead? Unless she has mad cold sore and scabs hanging off of her lips it’s pretty safe to say that your mom won’t know that she was kind of slutty until she met you.

And eventually in every relationship the number question is going to pop up: So how many people have you slept with? I have a hard time understanding why this question is such a deal breaker for relationships. If you already like me then why is the number of people that I’ve fucked even an issue? For some reason ALL men want to know the answer to this question, it’s like they can’t take the relationship to the next level without knowing. Since I’m not a man I can only assume that they want to know because it has something to do with their man hood and it will let them know if their going to be able to satisfy you or not. Well FYI we could solve that problem by just having sex. Nothing good will come out of the number conversation because:

1. Even if you tell your partner the truthful # they won’t believe you.
2. If your partner does believe you and the # is high your partner will feel inadequate and obsess over it for a life time.
3. It doesn’t matter what # you admit to because your partner is going to apply the “golden rule” anyways.

Ahh the “golden rule” my personal fave: If a man or a woman says that they have slept with X amount of people multiple that # by 3 and tada you have the golden # of people that they fucked. That equation is about as fool proof as “pulling out”! I will be the first to admit that my slut phase was one of the best times of my life, I was 19 and it lasted for about a year. Sure there are a few people that I would like to take off of my list but I don’t regret any of them. And unlike most women if my partner asked about my past I would have no problem telling them the truth about the number of people that I’ve slept with. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone that judged me based upon my past sexual experiences anyways.

I couldn’t possibly write this entry with out including my playing field.

MIDDLE SCHOOL

1st Base = Hugging/Kissing (Weak)

2nd Base = Fondling/Dry Humping (Strong)

3rd Base = Finger Banging/Hand Jobs (Hardcore)

Home Run = SEX (Whore)

ADULT HOOD

1st Date = 1st + 2nd Depending on looks and Alcohol consumption

2nd Date = Is the old 3rd Base

3rd Date = Awkward Sex

Home Run = Better Sex

So the question stands are you sluttier then me?

Merry Sex-mas Bitches!